There’s no need to find an explanation for everything.

Drop those eyelids, rest those lashes, shut everything away my friend. Life is too contradicting to be observed by the naked eye. When the truth hurt too much, we hide, we escape. we settle into denial. No, you’re not useless. You’re not the only one. It’s just human nature.
However, let me question, is this all you are? Think of your talent, potential, intuition - such desirable attributes are dripping away as you sit there doubting the future. Considering personal circumstances, I can’t ask you of much - but you know that I care, and I dare to say anything crosses my mind, pleasant or ugly.
Life is a chaotic hell - that is untangible. Yet our mission is to keep heads high and make it a journey to be proud of.
No regrets.