Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

I promised myself I wouldn’t corner myself to an apology, simply because there is no right or wrong when it comes to love. Yet I feel sick to my stomach every time i think back to that night.

The crickets were screeching, the wind was howling, regardless of the chilling weather, my heart was burning with guilt. Your innocent hazel eyes gazed desperately into mine - I have never seen anyone so hopeless. I wanted to hold you with my arms, whisper in your ears that it’s going to be alright, but I held back, because it was the right thing to do.

Maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I really thought the summer would have washed away the past. Maybe I’m just being naive, but I truly really thought there would be no strings attached.

Perhaps I should apologise. For lifting your hopes up, for sending them falling, for putting you through my most hated pain.

A part of me is pulling me away from all these thoughts of you, fearing that one day I will become too weak and give in to my cravings for someone’s company. But I strongly feel the obligation to explain. Really, all I want to do is to retrench your pain. I wish I could take it from you and pile it on top of my lot.

I want to see you smile again.

And this is the only way.