I don’t want to live with hatred towards the world. I don’t want to love, not believing each moment as they pass. I don’t want to smile with bitterness at the back of my mind. Yet no matter how hard I try, there is no place to be free.

Neverending tunnel I walk, I can see nothing but abysmal darkness - there is no light on the other end. There is no where to stop, no corner to breathe, no exits to escape. Turning around wishing to run, to get away, all I can hear are the menacing laughters. All of a sudden I realise that I was alone again. Just when I thought I was starting to see light, a way out,  it was all a lie.

There are no helping hands, comforting shoulders, how could I have been so naive? I thought the addiction was over, I thought the cure was found, could I have been more wrong. We are always alone, no matter how hard to try to deny that. In the end, we are left with choices to be made, pain to be dealt with, and nobody, nothing can makes it better, other than the bare strength we find within ourselves.

I’m sorry that I’m tired.
I’m sorry that I’m giving up.
I’m sorry that I’m pessimistic towards change.

Because whenever everything looks like it is about to get better, the sky comes falling down, reminding me that the dark days are not over.