Waking up to another morning breathing your name, I wondered what it would be like if we never crossed paths.

Sometimes I wish I never asked for your name. The name that I repeated chanted night after night, the name that I cried over as a nightly lullaby.
Sometimes I wish we never spoke. Of my past, my present, and my endless childish dreams.
Sometimes I wish I never heard your voice. That familiar husky yet clear sound, that rings unceaselessly of your blurted drunken words.
Sometimes I wish we never danced. The night when our bodies pressed tight, the night when we held hands, the night I would never be able to scratch from my memory, as days and nights go by.
Sometimes I wish I never looked into your eyes. It is impossible to not love those mesmerizing eyes, as I yearn to be let in, into the deepest corner of your soul.
Sometimes I wish we never kissed. I knew it was all too late, the moment your soft lips touched mine. I gave into destiny as I finally opened up, letting myself fall.

A part of me knew, the more we progressed, the more misery it would bring. Complicated is when you don’t know where you stand in a person’s life. It’s when you’re hanging in dead air and knowing you can be thrown off anytime. It’s when you’re like more than friends but not really, and it’s like you’re lovers when it’s really otherwise. Sometimes I would want to have never met you at all but at the back of my mind, I am thankful I have, because all those awake moments I spend with you, I feel like the luckiest girl, the only girl in the world.

Here’s my heart, my soul. Take it, rip it, I don’t care. I just want to fly, fly away with you.