Remember the summer day we laid underneath that tall, leafy tree? We confided in our deepest secrets, exchanged our childish dreams, promised that we would never change. Back then, we were innocent, we were beautiful, untouched, untainted by the repugnant truths of the world.

Years went by and everything we hoped not to happen happened. We met those people, we did those things, we changed beliefs, we threw away dreams. The worst thing was we did not know it was occurring, let alone the reason that it all begun. Two summers later, under the same tree, everything had changed. We were no longer beautiful as no reminisces of naivety had been left behind. Our conversations became fulfilled of the most superficies.

We both knew, yet we were reluctant to say it. The answers to “what happened” would never be found, yet I still lie awake at night replaying the past years in my head. Often, I end up in denial of all the changes that had taken place, stubbornly reassuring myself that I must have just been overthinking it all. If only we could go back to eating lollipops, drinking soda water and playing jigsaw puzzles.

Baby girl, when will our world stop spinning, when will all the dust settle. Our pleading gazes speak for the exhaustion that’s pulling us down. All I wish for is for everything back to the way they used to be. The days without tears, pain and hatred. The days of the most innocent laughters, the most carefree adventures, the days of the simplistic joys.